My mum's remarkable life - Children

My folks didn't have my brother and I straight away. They married in February 1968, and my brother arrived in September 1971. I was shortly after in March 1973.

 

 

My parents were known for their parties......lots of drinking, lots of dancing, lots of fun.

 

 

 

I remember getting so angry when I was scanning the old photos.

 

 

I had a strange thing happen during this time of scanning.....when I went to visit my mum that weekend, my mum had said that my dad had been to visit her, and he wanted her to talk to me about the parties and the drinking......because I was upset about it......it was very mumbled and incoherent, but I pooped myself......way too co-incidental for my liking.

 

My mum also told me the story of how my dad cut his hand and lost his fingers. It was the morning after his sister had been down to visit to 'meet' me, and there had been much drinking again. So the morning they left to travel home, my dad went up to his workshop (still drunk....I think my mum said they had already started drinking again that morning) and the circular saw won the fight, needless to say. She said it was so strange, how calm my dad was, wrapped his hand and severed fingers and came to ask her to drive him to the hospital.

 

I always knew he'd cut his hand on the circular saw, I never knew there had been drink involved.

 

Drink was such a profound part of our childhood. I would say my dad handled his far better than my mom. My mom was argumentative and very insulting when drunk, and I cannot tell you how many arguments and fights there were.

Verbal and physical.

 

And I believe that had been the case from even before my brother and I were around......she never left him because she didn't have the money or the means, and she would have lost us children.

 

My mum spoke to me in recent years about the bruises, saying 'they really hurt you know, but I would never give in or show how much it hurt'. My mum told me she used to save her tears for when she was in the bath.

 

My mum had a lot of problems with her back around this time, and had several operations and bouts of traction in the hospital. My dad quietly took over cooking and running the house when she wasn't around.

 

Her drinking became worse by the time my brother and I were teenagers.

My brother had a really horrible time of it as he battled severe acne.

He hardened towards our mum, and I don't think he ever forgave her. Ever.

 

She would later stay awake at night, ironing, drinking, listening to her old dance music....lost in her own world. 

My parents were essentially living separate lives by this point.

 

I went through much of my high school years wondering what state she would be in when I got home.......she went through 'clean' phases and then not.

 

But I loved her dearly. I saw her struggle. I did see her try and beat her demons.

Sometimes she won, other times she didn't.