Blog your Heart - December

And here we are, at the end of 2012.......was a very busy year, a very quick year, and a difficult year.

December has been just as busy, but I have also achieved a lot in the last few weeks, and I feel really good.....kind of....I'll get to that in a minute.

I met with a good friend this month....we haven't seen each other in 10 years.....and we didn't stop talking for 3 hours (and I felt like I could have talked for hours more).....I love friendships like that! Really restored my mojo to remember I have good friends like that. I may not have quantity, but I do have quality friends.

Today was my mom's 80th birthday. Wow, I can't believe we've come this far together. I planned to just spend the afternoon with her, just being there so she could talk to me about whatever she wanted.....that's after I had to remind her last night it was her birthday today.....it's hard sometimes, when she's confused like that.

I was caught off guard as I arrived to find the doctor was there, about to see her. A suspected bladder infection (normal for my mom, who seems prone to them). What I didn't expect was for the GP to come and tell me afterwards that he would need to send off a sample later this week, and may need to talk to me depending on the results. I asked him to repeat himself because he lost me as he was talking.

And, as much as I try, I am worried. I'm not ready for her to 'not be okay'.....I can cope with her confusion and I can cope with seeing her crippled with pain from her arthritis.....but I'm just not ready for more than that. Not today.