Acceptance of my past,
Acceptance of my present,
Acceptance of all things imperfect,
Acceptance of myself.
And I think I'm kind of there....not 100% certain......but I'm definitely in a very different place to what I was at the start of this year.
My parents life was very different to the life I choose. They made decisions and choices that I would not necessarily have made, but they thought they were doing the right thing, based on their values, beliefs, and experiences. And they weren't perfect - neither am I. Who is? Things and people don't have to be perfect.
And my experiences have made me the person I am.......and, as I've said before (and will say it again) my life is part of His plan.....it always has been, and always will be. I am not always what my friends or family want or expect me to be, but I'm coming to accept that that's okay, too...it is okay to be just me.
And that's not to say I won't have days when I'm annoyed I'm being pulled in 10 different directions...there will still be plenty of those....but I kind of like that.....I like thinking about others and rather putting them first. Is that so wrong? And, yes, that does leave me open to being taken advantage of, but I think I have grown enough this year, that I choose now to continue in these old roles with a new sense of myself and where my boundaries are. It's not to say I will always adhere to them , but at least I know they should and do exist......and that's also okay.
So, in looking forward to 2012, I think I'm currently thinking of 'letting go' as one of my words. Perhaps it will be just one, but I think there will be more words. It will not just be a year of finally letting go of things, but it will also be a year of sorting some things out...... :-)
~ Best wishes for 2012 ~
Love you sharing your journey - an inspiration - thank you - wishing you a wonderful 2012 - I think with both of us letting go we may move forward - how exciting!
ReplyDeleteI have loved the privilege of being part of your journey this past year. I wish you just the best for 2012 as you let go of those things you need to.
ReplyDeleteMuch love
Lynette
As I read your post, the word 'release' came to mind. In 2010 I got sick ... really really sick ... looking back and having gone through it all, I realised it was emotional. At one of my visits to my homeopath, she asked about my mother and I went off on a tangent ... we spoke some more and she suggested that I change 'my story' ... and look it from what I'd learnt and she helped me realise that, despite the shortcomings, I could look at what I gained from the lack of parenting and the disaster that my childhood ... as she said, I needed to realise how 'strong' I was inside and how much I'd managed to get through and I may not have been this person nor been able to handle the situations that came my way had I not had the experiences.
ReplyDeleteYou're awesome and wonderful and releasing the old opens our hands to allow us to grab the new ... new love, new happiness, new experiences.
Hugs to you