Week 51 - Contrast

Wow, what a week this has been........I'm used to crazy busy weeks, but this week has been that and more, and very tiring emotionally.....more on that later.

First up, my picture (as it was my theme)...sorry, I know it's an Autumnal picture again!

It's of a favourite tree of mine...in our neighbours garden....just love the contrasting colours!

Next up, Linda-Maree, who finally gave me a glimpse of some of their newly renovated house!

(Thank you Linda)

Pam's next......lovely colours. All the best with all the balls you're juggling, Pam.

And, last but not least, Claire. Welcome back, Claire.

My 'best of the rest' picture for the week will lead me into my tale of woe for the week. It's of one of our koi in our pond, contrasted against the rock in the background.

We've recently been extending our fish pond in the back garden, introducing some shallower areas for our fish. A heron has been admiring our progress too it seems, and we caught him standing in the shallows last Friday and Saturday night. So Trev went off on Sunday morning and bought a water spraying kit, which is motion activated, and spent all of Sunday afternoon setting it up. Guess who was back on Sunday night, bypassing our 'security' system!

Inbetween these broken nights of sleep Maxine has been vomiting at night over the past few weeks (she's had a chesty cold since the beginning of September) - sometimes every night, sometimes a few nights go by inbewteen. I took her to see our local nurse practitioner a couple of weeks ago who said she didn't have a chest infection, so no antibiotics, but come back if she gets any worse. She was a little better last week after I'd started giving her Gaviscon before going to bed, but then she started up again Tuesday, and the Wednesday night again. It's not just her vomiting, it's getting up every time you hear her cough because you know she's likely to vomit.

Wednesday morning was her review meeting at school, and, in short, we need to research school options and decide what we'd like before the beginning of December because that would be the best time to start the red tape exercise. I was sitting there thinking...bugger, the budget is due next Friday (and I'm behind in my preparation), budget presentation meeting in Germany in November, tons of hospital appointments for Trev's mom....where am I going to find the time?!!!!

Wednesday afternoon was spent taking Trev's mom for two appointments, and having her collapse just after the second one (she's epileptic). I was in quite a state by the time I got home - internally, that is - externally I was still cool, calm and collected Mariette.

 Increasingly I find myself avoiding spending time with her because I find the conversations so one-sided (me listening) and emotionally draining. And I know I am to blame because I've allowed the situation to develop over the years. I've always been afraid to speak up in case offence is taken...and now it's too late.

Then we had Wednesday night's vomiting, and by Thursday morning I was not very chipper to say the least!

I took Maxine to the doctor, as she looked worse to me, only to have him tell me she didn't have a chest infection so .......say it with me now.....no antibiotics...and the bit that pushed me over the edge was him telling me to give her smaller portions in the evening (she hasn't been eating that much of late anyway!), and come back in 4 weeks time if she's no better. I was steaming inside by this point, and even asked him to repeat the part about it's nothing to concern myself about (all this vomiting at night). I took Maxine's hand and left very quickly before I blew a fuse.

To cut a long story short I proceeded to try and get hold of Maxine's consultant paediatricians to see if I could speak with them and take Maxine to see them if need be (because they know Maxine), but no one was available. The secretary of one reminded me that I could take her to the Minor Illness unit at the local hospital to get a second opinion. Which is what I did, and she was thoroughly examined, and she did have a temperature and chest infection...and I got the anti-biotics she needed. Last night she had a good night, and today there is a night and day difference to the child I had yesterday. Still very chesty, but I can see she is on the mend as opposed to getting worse.

I don't think many would appreciate how hard it was for me to do what I did yesterday...go against what a doctor (professional) has said, and to rather go on my gut instinct. It is something I find really really difficult to do.

To illustrate, I was reading through some old e-mails this week, around the time when I had Maxine, and accounting my final days in labour. It wasn't that I 'didn't realise I was in labour', I kept phoning the hospital asking them, and they kept telling me 'I would know' I was in labour, otherwise I wasn't, so I kept second-guessing myself until I was in so much pain (and 4 days over due!) I eventually went to the hospital. And, lo and behold, I had been in labour! But my memory, over the years had trivialised the fact that I had been right and the professionals had been wrong.

And that's the funny thing about Maxine......I will overcome my own fears and fight for her, but, my crumbs, it is hard for me to trust my instincts initially!

Enough of my week........the weekend is here, the house is a mess and in need of a good spring clean (or is that autumn clean), the ironing basket is piled up to my thigh.......and Mr. Heron came to visit our fish again this afternoon, while I was typing my blog....but at least now I know his trick to bypassing our security system!!!

Have a lovely weekend.....