My word for this year is Time and I'm struggling......mainly because I have gone back to gym, and it does take a considerable commitment, and it has made me realise just how poor my support structure is at home. I have been so disappointed to see that even on the nights when I have a particular gym class to go to, I still rush home, cook dinner, rush back to gym for my class......and not once has there been an offer to cook dinner by my MIL. If anything, I get dirty looks because I am going out! I am just blown away by it all if I'm honest!
I've been disappointed that I have only lost 1 additional kilogram, making 4 in total now.....but I suppose I did have a 2 week break from exercise following the cryo-cautery thing at the start of the month. And I haven't been as strict as I could have some days.....so there is my answer really. I am definitely changing shape though, which is really exciting for me. I have always have big thighs and hips, and arms.....and they are trimming down. I'm fitting into old clothes I haven't been able to in about a year, and it feels really good. So I will continue until I go away on holiday. And then I will continue when I get back.....until I reach my goal.
Work has been beyond crazy. We had our year end audit this month, which went well, and I've already received the draft statutory accounts, which is great, and in keeping with the deadlines I am working to in order to complete Consolidated figures before I go on holiday. It's been very frustrating though, because one of my ladies kept making so many little mistakes....some not so little either.....and she'd been with me for 15 months, so it's not like she was new to the team. I eventually decided enough was enough, and I made the decision to ask her to leave. But I knew how important the job was to her, and I knew the whole experience would negatively effect her self-esteem. It was one of the hardest things I have done.
And now we are one person down in the team, and I have some interviews to get through as well before I go on holiday!
As I mentioned in the TUM post, things have been decidedly frosty at home on some days. I think I must make life pretty difficult for Trev's mom because I just don't rise to an argument......especially not with her, because it will only get me into trouble (because I will always be wrong in her eyes anyway), and there is just no point! I have also come to realise that our relationship has broken down, and I think my own journey of self-realisation has been the main cause of that. I choose to distance myself from a supremely negative person because I need to protect myself and my own sanity.....I cannot cope being close to someone who is that negative and self-absorbed......there is a term for people like this.....'vacuum-cleaners', because they suck the life out of everyone else around them. And I'm sorry, but that is my MIL.
And she never used to be like that, and I struggle to accept that she has allowed herself to become like it now.
But I feel sad for the loss of our relationship, because we were once very close.
We have Maxine's Annual School Review earlier this week. I know every parent is proud of their own child, but our hearts were beaming by the time we finished. Especially when she came in and sat down next to me (as opposed to jumping on top of me like she used to)....and watching her trying not to smile too much with pride while the assistant head teacher was reminding her about all the things she is good at and what they are pleased with her about. She's even won 1st place for Project Ability New Age Curling (we were wondering why she kept being invited to Curling events!)
The bit that I was most touched by was the comments made by Maxine in her report.....
What is important to me now?
My cat, Purrloin, she's a domestic kind of cat. My DS games....... My mum is important because she cooks me pasta, some nights, not every night. I like reading my Zelda comics. I do some movi making on the Wii console and my 3DS console.
Pasta, chicken burger and fish burger are my favourite foods. I lke to spend time with my dad, I call him fat gut, he likes to take me to Pepi's, I have fish burger. I've been there 3 times, my dad is on 2 visits, my mum is on 1 visit.
What I like at school
(a whole page full of stuff she likes).......the next show is Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I hope I can be an Oompa Lumpa. I like dancing in the shows, the music always catches me dancing.
Things I would like to change in school and at home
I wouldn't change anything at school.
Home is fine too.
Who wouldn't be proud of that?!!!
(We arrived home on a high after the meeting remembering that Trevor was meeting the paving guy for a quote for some extra work.....Trev hadn't let his mom know, and the chap had arrived before we got home......I walked in the house first, and was greeted my a very angry MIL, ranting about 'never being told anything'....and she then started muttering loudly to herself in the kitchen. I picked up my bags, called goodbye, and left. We haven't spoken since.....apart from today I was asked what we are planning on doing with Maxine tomorrow because she needs to get out. I said we hadn't decided yet, but we usually go out with her on a Sunday, so we'll think of something?)
Anyway, that's me.......a bit all over the place, and a bit mopey today......time for bed me thinks.
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